60-Second Rule

Sometimes I have bad days at work. Sometimes even on days that aren't so bad, I still feel overwhelmed and stressed, and I am not good about mentally leaving work at work. It doesn't help that my job comes with a blackberry. Bob says I should ignore the blackberry. I tell Bob the reason I have one is that I'm expected to check it. But I'm digressing. What I mean to say is I often let work pressures get to me and come home grumpy.

An ironic treat about the days when I'm at work until 6:30 is that I get to listen to Focus on the Family on the way home. I'm sometimes surprised at how much I enjoy the program and find it very insightful yet practical, especially since I don't have children. But as we always say, the lack of children does not make us any less of a family (perhaps a post for a different time is my pet peeve hearing people say "starting a family" when they mean having a child and adding to their existing family). But I digress again.

About a year ago a guest on Focus on the Family talked about how important it was to greet your spouse properly when you get home each day. She said the first 60 seconds of interaction set the tone for the rest of your time together. This fascinated me, and I consciously began to put it into practice. Even on my worst day, I figured, I can put on a smile, be cheerful, and pleasantly greet my husband for at least 60 seconds. And I have found this little practice to have huge benefits. It's not always easy, as sometimes I want to begin giving directions for dinner or asking what came in the mail or reminding him to take the recycling bins to the curb. But most of our evenings (which, taken cumulatively, add up to a good portion of our lives) have been noticeably more pleasant when instead I say hi, I love you, I missed you today, how was your day. Sometimes it's even a game, when we forget to greet each other, and all of a sudden I hear Bob counting "52, 53, 54, 55..." and he runs to give me a hug before the clock strikes 60!

During the past year I have also gotten better at balancing the work/home dynamic. I'm not sure how much of this can be attributed to our 60-second rule, but I am confident it has helped tremendously by setting the proper tone. So if I can encourage anyone else to use this little trick, you won't regret it. And who can't commit to 60 seconds? A little effort can have a big payoff!