Pandemonium: Nathan's Birth Story

Considering the bizarre journey we had during Nathan's pregnancy, we had no idea what to expect for his birth. You can read about my pre-term labor and hospitalization here, and you can also read about Silas's birth two years earlier here.

I was discharged from the hospital at 34 weeks, and then I had two more weeks of medication and bedrest at home until I was 36 weeks and full-term. Once I was full-term, I was able to return to the care of my midwives and plan a birth center birth at South Coast Midwifery. And, more importantly, all indications suggested we'd have a full-grown, healthy baby.

I complied (mostly) with the terms of my bedrest, although it was harder to stay flat when you're at home and responsibilities are present once again. My mom stayed through the first portion of the bedrest and then Bob's parents arrived two days later and stayed throughout August, which got us to 39 weeks, although we didn't expect to stay pregnant that long.

Does this castle make me look fat? 39 weeks.

We got to 36 weeks uneventfully, and unsurprising to me, my Braxton Hicks contractions resumed the very day I stopped my medication and got up on my feet again. That was gratifying in a strange way because it confirmed that the previous seven weeks of interventions had been effective. It was a strange few weeks as my in-laws were in town to support us, and although I was allowed to be up again, I was exhausted in the way all women in late pregnancy are, as well as trying to regain some lost muscle strength and stamina. So Bob's parents still mostly ran the household, taking care of Silas each day and doing most of the cooking. Towards the end of their stay I "gave them a day off" a few times and had Silas by myself for a few hours and cooked some. I also focused on housework and kept the apartment very clean knowing I'd want it that way whenever little man came home. One afternoon I channeled all my energy and prepared a handful of freezer meals, which I knew would be handy once the baby was here and all our help was gone.

On our final pre-baby visit to Disneyland, we got to ride
in the front of the Monorail. Such a treat!

As we neared 39 weeks and the point when my in-laws had to leave, I was becoming very discouraged that we had not had the baby yet. Normally I wouldn't have expected him to be born before at least 40 weeks (Silas was born at almost 42 weeks), but after the doctors had told me he was falling out at 29 weeks, my expectations had changed. Of course I wanted Bob's parents to be able to meet the baby, and the logistics with Silas were also significantly simpler when grandparents were here. At my last midwife appointment before they left, when I was 38 weeks 6 days, I asked my midwife if they'd consider stripping my membranes as a non-medicated way to encourage labor. She said they would be willing to do so, except that I was positive for Group Beta Strep, so no. She did offer to do an exam, if I wanted, so we could have some sense of how I was progressing. I was anxious enough that I decided to have the exam, which again was something I would have declined in different circumstances. We found that I was 4+ cm dilated (hooray), but my cervix was still posterior. She estimated it would still be awhile before I went into labor. I was bummed but also resolved to fully enjoy the last four days with the grandparents, rather than sit around at home waiting to go into labor. So we went to Disneyland and out to dinner and had fun adventures until they had to leave.

A photo from one of our last days alone.

That 39th week stayed uneventful, and I got to spend most of the week alone with Silas, something I thought would never happen again when I was missing him during my hospitalization. It was an extremely busy week at work for Bob, so in that regard it was good the baby wasn't born yet. I had another visit with my midwife at 39 weeks, 6 days, but I declined having another check as it seemed unnecessary.

My labor with Silas was very quick, especially for a first birth, so we were on high alert to respond at the first sign of labor this time. I had three wonderful friends who were rotating turns on-call for Silas since Bob's parents had left. So, as we were sitting in church on Sunday, at 40 weeks and 2 days, and I started having real contractions, Bob convinced me that we should leave and call our midwife and babysitter. They started about 9 minutes, then 6, then 3, and we were excited that the baby was finally (it seemed) going to come! However, once we left the church service and retrieved Silas and drove home, they spaced out significantly. A couple close ones, then 15 minutes of nothing. We had called our midwife and our babysitter came to get Silas, but we were now unsure if this was "it" or not. Totally different than labor had been with Silas. Around 2:00 we talked again with our midwife, who was at the birth center already doing some work, and we decided we would go in and have her check me and sweep my membranes (I had been doing hibaclens rinses to treat the GBS and had successfully had two negative tests results, reversing my diagnoses).

Pam, our midwife, checked me and found I was about 6 cm and said she thought sweeping my membranes would get things moving again. She did, and then Bob I went outside to walk for awhile and see what happened. The contractions did pick up, getting as close as 2-3 minutes, but when we would sit down to rest periodically they would stop. This process repeated a few times for a few hours. We decided to check again and found that I hadn't dilated any further than the 6. I was pretty bummed but we decided to all go home and rest and see what happened. Pam really expected us to go into full labor that night or the next day. She also said that we had the option to break my water, but Bob and I felt that it was too early to intervene in that way.

Sunday night I continued having some contractions, but they still failed to stay consistent. Bob worked from home on Monday as we were still expecting some action. But it was more of the same. A few hours without contractions, then they'd come on, irregular, get close, then space out and fizzle. By Monday night they had stopped again. We decided Bob should go to work on Tuesday since we'd rather him save his time off for after the baby arrived. So we kept waiting, trying to keep our routines up with normal activities. Tuesday and Wednesday saw more of the same...real contractions, but irregular and inconsistent. As you can imagine, I was getting worn out and very uncomfortable nonetheless.

I had a previously scheduled routine visit with my midwife on Wednesday (40 weeks, 5 days), and we were all surprised I was still pregnant. I saw Ramona for this appointment, and Pam had briefed her on my Sunday visit as they were alternating on-call for that whole week. We decided to strip my membranes again, and while doing that Ramona checked my dilation. Oh how I wish I had a recording of her perplexed face as she was checking me. She was amazed to feel that I was almost 8 cm dilated, 90 percent effaced, and with a bulging bag of waters. "How are you not in active labor?" she mused. She had never seen anything quite like this. My waters were bulging so much that she feared she may break them as she stripped me, but they remained intact. We discussed how my contractions were still inconsistent and not progressing. She again reminded me I had the option to break my water, but I again declined. I was so ready for the baby to be born, but still believed in respecting the natural process.

Thursday morning I had a leadership kick-off meeting for the upcoming MOPS year, and I was actually glad that I was able to attend. My friends there were surprised to see me, and even more so when I told them I was walking around 8 cm dilated. Thursday afternoon the contractions picked up again, enough so that I texted Bob and asked him to come home. They had gotten to 3 minutes apart and were a bit more intense. My friend Christy, one of the on-call babysitters, happened to text me and I told her what was going on, so she came on over to stay with Silas. But, unfortunately, like before, these contractions stopped also. I was noticing a pattern that they seemed to stop when I lay down to rest. Hmmmmm...

By Thursday night I was reaching my breaking point. I questioned how much longer I could go on like this. I had been having real contractions off and on for five days now. And for the first time, surprisingly, I entertained the idea of getting a shot of pitocin to assist my body with the birth. Although I knew this wasn't an option at the birth center, and ultimately I liked it that way. I was just losing focus. I posted in a natural birth Facebook group from Florida looking for encouragement to persevere (which I got), and several of the ladies there suggested we might have a positioning problem and I should visit a chiropractor. They thought this might be what kept causing the contractions to stop. Although the midwives had assured me the baby was well positioned, I figured visiting a chiropractor was worth a try. In fact, since we had maxed out our insurance out-of-pocket expenses with the hospital stay, I wouldn't even need to pay anything for the visit.

So on Friday morning I called Pam to be sure she was supportive of seeing the chiropractor. When we spoke the contractions had resumed about 7 minutes apart. She again said we could meet at the birth center and break my water. Finally, I was willing to consider this option. So I asked questions about it, and I was again thankful for the midwifery model and she spent a full 30 minutes discussing it with me. Knowing she couldn't guarantee anything, I asked how likely did she think that would put me in full labor? 90 percent. And what if I didn't go into full labor? After 24 hours, if I wasn't in active labor, we would call their backup OB and decide what to do. Pam reminded me that if nothing progressed in 24 hours then perhaps we would benefit from interventions. What defined active labor? Dilated at least 5 cm and having regular contractions. Ha! With that definition I had been in active labor for 5 days!

But ultimately I again decided against breaking my water, preferring to give my body time to do this without interventions. I called a chiropractor and made an appointment to get adjusted, but he wasn't able to get me in until the following Monday. I later joked that all it took was making that appointment to convince Nathan it was time to come out.

Friday a little before noon, the contractions had resumed again, still irregular. 9 minutes, 6 minutes, 15 minutes, 5 minutes, etc. Bob was home and we fed Silas lunch and put him down for a nap, so I decided to rest, also. However, this time when I laid down, the contractions slowed some but didn't stop completely. Then they picked up a little bit again, but still ranged from 2 minutes to 10 minutes apart. It was such a weird pattern (or lack thereof) and had me questioning if this was something or yet another false alarm. I decided I was hungry. Bob made me a turkey sandwich and I ate it in bed.

Just after 2:00 the contractions started getting a little more intense, but still very manageable. Finally I decided yes, this was it. We were going to have the baby. Let's call the babysitter and midwife and go in. This seemed like it could be the real deal, and if it wasn't, I decided it was time I was willing to break my water and help it along. In retrospect, we decided this IS when the real labor started, meaning it was indeed a quick birth (after 6 long days of prodromal labor, so not that quick - ha!).

So Bob made the calls and then started loading things into the car. I'll mention that we were having record-breaking heat, so he also pulled the car out of our apartment garage and started the A/C so I'd be comfortable - huge points for him! So between 2:00 and about 2:45 I was mostly by myself on our bed, working through the contractions. They were becoming more painful, so I tried a hands and knees position - both for my comfort and also because it was recommended by the ladies who thought we may be misaligned a bit. At this point I was still not sure if this was false or real.

This is a horribly unflattering photo, but it's significant to me because it's the only one I have from labor for either of my sons' births. It's also interesting that it was taken at 2:46, less than a half hour before Nathan was born. Bob had just walked back into the bedroom and saw me like this and thought I looked funny, and we both were laughing. And he snapped this photo.

This was 28 minutes before Nathan was born. We were
still home waiting for the babysitter to arrive.

Thankfully, my friend Melissa arrived just after the photo to stay with Silas, and Bob and I quickly left. I was more confident by then that I was in real labor, but still not certain. The contractions were strong but manageable and about 3 minutes apart. We stopped just outside our door before we descended the stairs as I breathed through a contraction. As we were getting into the car things suddenly got very intense. I started verbalizing during contractions during the car ride, and we were again thankful to be only a few miles from the birth center. I was finally sure this baby was going to be born soon, but I was waiting for (and dreading) transition.

We arrived at South Coast Midwifery just after 3:00 and were pleased to find an open parking space right in front. As we were walking in, I stopped for another contraction, and Pam met us there on the sidewalk. She took us through the back door to the birth center and directed us to the birth suite, which was all prepared for us. Candace, the birth assistant, met us there. The next few minutes are blurry, but I think this is how they progressed.

Apparently we walked in at 3:10. I remember kicking off my flip-flops as soon as we entered and mentioning that it was really hot. Someone turned on the ceiling fan. I thought to myself that someone should start filling up the tub, but for some reason I didn't say that out loud. Again, I was still waiting for transition. (Note: I was 0 for 2 on my desire for a water birth. Both my babies were born too quickly. Not that I'm complaining!)

Pam asked if I wanted to get on the bed and have her check me. I said first I had to poop. She asked if I was sure I had to poop or was I maybe feeling the baby? I thought that was a bizarre question and said, yes, I'm pretty sure I have to poop. (NOTE: With Silas's birth, transition had been difficult and I had gotten sick during it. I was expecting that to happen again. Also, while pushing with him, I lost control of my bowels and was very self-conscious about that. Pooping before I got to that point made sense to me.) Well, before I made it over to the toilet another contraction began, and I grabbed onto Bob's shoulders for support, as I was standing in the middle of the room.

All my reading and learning about the birth process has taught me that your body knows when to push. This is one of the benefits of being unmedicated - your body knows what to do and when to do it. And that's exactly what happened. As this contraction peaked my body took over and did its thing, and I bore down and pushed. I felt gushing (I was still fully clothed) and thought I had just pooped in my pants. Pam and Candace quickly pulled on their gloves and helped get my pants down. They kindly reassured me that I had not pooped, but instead that was my water breaking. Then I heard Pam saying, "And here is your baby's head." What?!?!?!?! I later mused that I hadn't gone through transition. Bob reminded me transition is when you dilate from 7 to 10 centimeters, and I had actually been doing that over the course of the past several days. True.

So here we were, standing in the middle of the birth suite, Bob literally supporting me both physically and emotionally, about to welcome our baby boy earthside. I think Pam asked if I wanted to move to the bed, and I replied with something like, "No. Just get him out." One more push and his head was out, then a final one for his shoulders and body to be born. Midwives are careful to say they "caught" a baby rather than "delivered" one, as the mother is the one who births the baby. Well, in a very real sense, my midwife Pam caught my baby! He was finally here and I was so relieved! He was born at 3:14 pm, just 4 minutes after we arrived in the birth suite.

Pam held the baby as I waddled a few feet over to the bed and sat on the edge, and then I finally held sweet baby Nathan in my arms. I was pretty oblivious to everything else that happened during the next several minutes, which is probably exactly how it should be. Pam and Candace helped get my clothes off and got everything cleaned up. Bob, Nathan, and I relaxed on the big bed and enjoyed getting to know each other. Birthing the placenta was uneventful, and Bob cut the umbilical cord. I drank lots of water and some juice, and ate some nuts and cheese.

One cool thing we did that I had not experienced with Silas's birth was examining the placenta. Candace showed me this organ that had been in my body, sustaining life in my baby for the past nine months. It was beautiful, not for its appearance but for its purpose. She also told me that I now had an internal wound as big as that placenta and reminded me how important it was to allow it to heal properly. "If a wound this size was on the outside of your body," she said, "you would rest and not get up and start doing housework and strenuous activities." I thought that was great information and used it to guide my healing and recovery during the next few weeks.

Nathan nursed like a champ within a half hour of being born. He didn't have much vernix on him (neither did Silas), but we did need to clean him up after he had his first bowel movement (I don't waste time, Mama!). After awhile I took a short shower and also successfully used the bathroom. Pam examined me and gladly reported no tearing or even abrasions. I was again thankful I had respected my body's natural process and, in return, my body had responded beautifully!

After a few hours of family bonding, Pam gave Nathan his newborn exam. Everything checked out perfectly. Bob helped weigh him. He was a solid 9 pounds even and nearly 23 inches long. A big boy! We dressed him and dressed me and took a few photos and headed home.

9 pounds!

Ready to go home. Nathan is about 4 hours old here.

Our birth team: Candace, Pam, and Rachel.

Silas stayed overnight at Melissa's house (it was around 7:00 when we left the birth center). Laugh if you want to, but on our way home Bob and I stopped and picked up sushi. Comfort food at its finest! We came home, ate, nursed, snuggled, and enjoyed a lovely night in our own home and bed. Melissa brought Silas back the next morning and our family of four was complete. It had been quite a journey, but God gifted us another perfect baby boy. We are so very blessed! Here are a few more photos.